The Key to a Successfully Sustaining your Relationship – Kundalini Yoga

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Now we understand what makes us attractive and what attracts us. But when we meet our prince how do we have a happy ever after? Even if we have chosen an amazing partner we can still run into difficulties in our relationship. When our relationships become stressful and full of pain this can literally shave years off our life, whilst a healthy relationship lets you grow and bloom.

First of all it does not depend on how sexy, beautiful, accomplished, etc you are. Once again the basis for a healthy, happy, wholesome relationship it how you relate to each other.   Whether you share authentically your feelings and yourself, listen deeply and use the tools of tolerance, kindness, compassion and oneness in your relationship.

Where a relationship goes wrong!

A relationship is an ever changing thing. Just because you start a relationship really well does not mean you do not need to put your conscious awareness and positive energy into it to keep it blooming.

Your communication needs to be conscious. You need to be expressing at least 5 positive things to every criticism or negative. We need to relate to the real feelings of our partners. This communication takes place not just through our words but through our aura on a subconscious level.

Polarity – You need to be able to command the polarities, not react to them. Yoga helps you do this by balancing the 3 functional minds to actively engage the negative mind and challenge it with the positive. When your 3 functional minds are unbalanced they distort the 5 tattvas.

Do you recognise any of these destructive patterns of behaviour which are related to the negative expressions of the five tattvas (elements)?

  • Earth (lobh) pertains to greed and desires for recognition and territory;
  • Water (kam) to sensuality and lust;
  • Fire (Krodh) to anger, rough language and neurotic behavior;
  • Air (moh) identity and power. The latter is because air contains life-giving energy (prana), and it therefore gives you your identity.
  • Ether (hunkaar) pertains to we (hum), us, pride, false ego, negative ego, boasting and lack of humility.

Your natural polarities and paradoxes over time lead to insecurity. We start to fight the polarities that exist in ourselves and our relationships. The most deadly of these traits are:

  • Feelings of superiority (I am right, contempt, belittlement)
  • Constant criticism (nagging or helpful task master)
  • Defensiveness (attack, shooting back)
  • Non responsive (withdrawal, avoid taking action)

We start to try and solve them as if they are problems. To reduce conflict we try and turn our partners into us. Similarity is good, but too much and the relationship gets boring. We need differences to keep things fresh. To deal with these polarities we need to be:

Present and flexible in each situation using our applied intuitive, intelligence whilst understanding that we all have a defensive mind which is waiting for the attack, which we can see and recognise but choose not to engage with.

We need to develop the following virtues:

Tolerance, as a primary virtue, in any authentic relationship. It gives us a capacity to see what is wrong, to see the character and characteristics accurately of the other person and overlook it. To ‘un-see’ what we see is not denial. Instead it is a redirection of our energy; it is our capacity to activate in ourselves and in the other person the very best of our abilities.

The attitude we need to re-vision and strengthen our relationships is compassion ‘Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times’. First we need to let the other person be real. For the relationship was attracted to us through the compassion of our soul.

There is a little secret to using compassion effectively, to be real about compassion for others; you must have self-compassion. In that experience and reality you can be real with another person. YB put it this way ‘The highest status which a man can enjoy in a human life is self compassion. This is the last thing a person has ever learned. The key to happiness, gate to happiness, is self-compassion. If you ever want to be compassionate, be compassionate to yourself.’

We must deal with our relationship from the fourth chakra, the heart, at which the sense of self is strong enough that you can decide about and direct your emotions to serve your soul. It is the point of awakening where you can control the emotions and make them align with your own compassion and awareness.

Sat nam Fi x sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com read our weekly blogs and brain candy updates raymond.fiona@gmail.com0778011984

This week’s classes:

Mon 27 Nov 6.15-7.30pm   Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col

Tues 28 Nov 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 28 Nov 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col8 Tues 28 Nov 5.30-6.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Wed 29 Nov 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 29 Nov 7.15-8.15pm    Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Rd, Col 5

Thurs 30 Nov 11.30 – 1.15pm Special Needs Kids and Teachers@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd.

Thurs 30 Nov 3-4pm      Kundalini Yoga, Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Sat     2   Dec 4.30-6pm   Gong Bath and Healing – Sat Sungat Shala, Negambo

Sun     3 Dec 5pm onwards WOW FESTIVAL (British Council) FREE GONG BATH – National Film Cooperation, Bauddhaloka Mwt, Colombo 7.

 

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Laws of Attractiveness – Kundalini Yoga in Sri Lanka

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Now we have started feeling deep acceptance of our polarities and paradoxes let’s get into the nitty, gritty of intimate relationships. Yogi Bhajan says this type of relationship is the highest kind of yoga because it pits you against conflict, paradox, polarity, challenge and asks you to call upon your conscious power over your mind to stay graceful, tolerant, compassionate and loving. Sound familiar?

But let’s look at what we are attracted to and how we become truly attractive?

We all have our theories about attraction – from fashion to passion, finding our soul mate to the need to fill our emotional holes. Are we attracted to people similar to ourselves or different? Is it their laugh or eye colour? Does Prince charming really exist?

The most powerful factor of attraction is none of the above. What we all find truly attractive is security. If a person exhibits a quality of self-love they are at their most attractive. It is typically when a person after a break up is feeling really good about themselves and is not looking for a relationship, that is when they attract someone. This sense of completeness and autonomy in yoga is call Saibhung.   We always will feel the need for someone to complete us this is the polarity of separation that the soul feels as it has been separated from the infinite. We need to use our applied intelligence to go beyond this polarity and feel whole, self fulfilled, self contained to serve in our intimate relationships instead of looking for our needs to be fulfilled by someone else.

Attraction is further complicated by the factors built into our instinctual programming, for example, take smell and symmetry. Smell is a powerful attractive factor. We immediately subconsciously recognise the smell of a potential mate that has genes which would be compatible to our having disease free, strong children.

Symmetry is another common attraction. We seek beauty and beauty is universally recognized as symmetry this factor also exists in the natural world.

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The saying goes opposites attract. But we also like to share similarities in our partners. However we need enough of a difference to keep our relationship interesting. Differences create challenge, but if you do not try and fix your partner to make them like you, then you can face these polarities, stay conscious and remain flexible in your approach which lends to a healthy relationship.

So attraction is a complex blend of glandular, cerebral, social, genetic, karmic and spiritual. The only way to enjoy this and act with clarity is with applied intelligence where we use our consciousness and intuition to build and fulfil authentic relationships that are pleasing to our soul and its values.

The most important thing is not to be going into an intimate relationship with an itinerary of needs that have to be fulfilled by the other person. When people feel this insecurity it is very unattractive.

The best way to approach any relationship is when you are pre-fulfilled. You have everything you need. Begin with Oneness. This feeling of Saibhang can be developed through your daily practice of Kundalini yoga and meditation.

Next week let’s talk about how to sustain a loving, intimate relationship now you understand attraction. Sat nam Fi x sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com read our weekly blogs and brain candy updates raymond.fiona@gmail.com 0778011984

This week’s classes:

Mon 20 Nov 6.15-7.30pm   Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col

Tues 21 Nov 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 21 Nov 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8

Tues 21 Nov 5.30-6.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Wed 22 Nov 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE

Wed 22 Nov 11.30-12.30       YTT Pranayama Class @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Wed 22 Nov 7.15-8.15pm    Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Thurs 23 Nov 11.30 – 1.15pm Special Needs Kids and Teachers@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd.

Thurs 23 Nov 3-4pm             Kundalini Yoga, Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Sat     25 Nov 6-7.30pm       Double Gong Bath with Rachel – Sri Yoga Shala, Galle

 

 

 

How do you Relay to your Paradox – Kundalini Yoga

busy doing nothingHow our Relays allow us to Reject or Accept our Paradoxes!

Continuing from last week, let’s go back to definitions. We now know what a polarity is, it is where 2 opposite things define each other. A paradox is different, they are 2 seemly contradictory things that exist in conjunction with each other. An oxymoron, for example, dry ice, a plastic glass, exact estimate,etc.

When it comes to our personality we are filled with Paradoxes. Shiv Charan once said to me, I had to learn to accept my imperfections as perfect. Write a list of your paradoxes. Are you passive aggressive, a hopeful pessimist, deliver bad news with a smile, wise fool, logical dreamer etc?

Now let’s look at how you perceive the Paradoxes in your personality.

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All thoughts, words, actions convey something to ourselves and others. This in short is what a relay is. When Yogi Bhajan talks about gaining and losing our personality depending on our relay, essentially he is talking about building a good reputation that is in alignment with the self or bad reputation.

On a very practical note imagine any thought, like eating a brightly coloured, fresh, parachuting through the air, or meeting someone you have conflict with. Each thought not only creates a mental response but it creates and emotional and physical response via our physical reactions, breath and hormones.

Now consider your mental dialog about the Paradoxes in your personality. I found that trying to accept that my imperfections were perfect very difficult to stomach at first. Slowly I have worked on my internal dialog to accept my flaws and failure, even if I had to first fake it to make it.

Having an authentic relationship with yourself and accepting yourself for your strengths and weaknesses, not only effects how you feel but even affects our immune system. Letting go of our expectations of self but also being very present to what we relaying with our thoughts and words, is an oxymoron, but it is the path of yoga, the yoking of all ourselves into one big happy smile.

Sat nam Fi x sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com read our weekly blogs and brain candy updates

raymond.fiona@gmail.com0778011984

This week’s classes:

Mon 13 Nov 6.15-7.30pm   Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Tues 14 Nov 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 14 Nov 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8

Tues 14 Nov 5.30-6.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Wed 15 Nov 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 15 Nov 3-3.45pm         Radiant Kids Yoga@ The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Wed 15 Nov 7.15-8.15pm    Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Thurs 16 Nov 11.30 – 1pm Special Needs Kids&Teachers@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd.

Thurs 16 Nov 3-4pm               Kundalini Yoga, Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

 

 

Kundalini Teacher Training Level 2, Authentic Relationships

Guava- Pool area..jpgAbout the Venue – Guava House

Guava House is a peaceful family Retreat, perched amongst mountains of Sri Lanka’s Central Province, just 3 1/2 to 4 hours driving time from Colombo, 1 hour from Kandy, and 45 minutes from Kegalle town.

It is situated on top of a hill, amongst 3 acres of it’s own private land and with 360 degree views of the valley below and Bible Rock. It is located amongst the rubber trees and local fauna of a Hill Country estate. Thatched roofs and open plan living areas create a sense of space, simplicity and freedom.

Guava House is of a simple ‘open-style’ living experience, open to the breezes with beautiful views throughout. The two separate thatched chalets, are built into the side of the sloping terrain, add an extra dimension of privacy and peaceful relaxation.  It is the perfect venue for quiet reflection and peace and during this retreat style teacher training week we observed silence for two periods.

About the Retreat

Morning Sadhana

This retreat syle teacher training was true bonus, having an extra 3 days longer that the usual 6 day training for the level 2 trainings. It was an 8 night and 9 day course. The teachings during this week were for anyone who would like to learn how to authentically relate to partners, family, at work or in the home.  We soon learnt that the key to happiness and contentment and achieving harmonious relationships with our closes family and friends and even strangers is to work on our own consciousness.  Learn to connect to our true self/identity, once we can elevate ourselves we can act from tolerance and love.  We learnt about the polarities and paradoxs within us and others, also the polarities between the female and male energies and characteristics.

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We practised mantra and chanting every day with the long Mul Mantra during Sadhana and then more mantra throughout the day.  This kept us all in an elevated state, we became conscious of the resonance of the sound current and became sensitive to everything and everyone around us.

We ventured out mid week to do a silent medative walk around the surrounding area which was an enriching experience.

 

About the Food

As always, during our teacher training we support our bodies with the food we eat.  At Guava House we were spoilt with delicious simple Sri lankan village cuisine, all vegetarian, we ate a huge array of different vegetables, pulses and grains, the main one being rice or other delicous delicacies made from rice flour like string hoppers and hoppers, roties from kurukkan (millet) flour.  For the last two days we were joined by chef German Germaano who made us yummy dumpling soup and nutricious filling quinoa veggie herb and green bean tahini salad.

 

Find out more about all Sanasuma’s events and classes taking place in Colombo and outside. Watch out of our International teachers coming to Sri Lanka. Join our blog and facebook following as we grow our Kundalini Community in Sri Lanka.

bloghttps://sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com. Just for your info our website address is http://www.sanasuma.co.uk/index.php And our facebook name is https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sanasuma/203581616391361 (please become our friend and press the like button).

 

Elevate your Polarities to Live with Grace – Kundalini Yoga 6, Nov 6.15pm @ Prana Lounge

Wow, having just spent 10days together with amazing teachers Tonie Nooyens and Tien at Guava House participating at a Level 2 Authentic Relationship Retreat, I was amazed at facing the polarities and paradoxes of life immediately. I was left energised by dead tired at the same time.

This is a complicated topic so I am going to take 2 weeks in blogging about this one so stay with me!

Let’s look at definitions first. A polarity is an opposite that cannot exist without the other. We live in a world full of polarities like night and day, black and white, good and bad. In fact one of the reasons the world is in such conflict inside ourselves and out, is because we do not understand or handle our polarities.

We get narrow minded and feel that we can only have one view; we either have to Hate Trump or love him. We either have to eat, a clean, green, vegan diet to be a good person or eat junk food. There is no longer a middle ground we feel we can comfortable to occupy. These polarised views are damaging us.

The first mistake is to try and fight the polarity. If we destroy one side the other side will cease to exist. Every Wiseman is sometimes a fool. From the mouths of fools the greatest wisdom flows. In fact by focusing solely on one side of the picture, the balance shifts to give you more of what you do not want. For example when you are trying not to think of a scary thought, it increases your fear not decreases it. The second mistake is to take the average between the 2 polarities. For example look at a coalition government, most of the time they end up being totally ineffective as they end up compromising so much that neither do they get anything done or do they please the electorate or their respective parties.

We need to elevate the polarities and paradoxes in our personalities and outside ourselves on a diagonal path to become masters of ourselves. This is not another facade where we reduce the tensions between our conflicts and challenges by pretending everything is perfect, for example when a spiritualised person avoids inner conflict by saying, “What conflict, everything is ONE and heavenly”! This is a position that isolates, insulates, separates and denies reality. Where there is peace there is conflict, where there is heaven there is hell.

This week we will look at each polarity and see the lessons they can create for us in life and why they exist? Look at this quote and try and see the elevated or diagonal energy it gives to a polarity.

“When you deny something, actually you are accepting those things very deep in your subconscious mind, and sometimes when you accept something you are rejecting it in your subconscious mind so strongly even though you do not know it. So it is not by your acts alone that you approve or disapprove things. Your personality, which is a known personality can be known by acts, but your unknown personality is also there. Man is both unknown and known. Unknown is divine. Known is individual, however you are denying God. God is only denied because you say it is unknown. To know thyself is to know God. God is what? God is the totality, and when one knows the totality of one’s personality, one is GOD.” Teachings of Yogi Bhajan.

See you if you can understand why a polarity exists in your life. Next week we look more closely at paradox.

Sat nam Fi x sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com read our weekly blogs and brain candy updates

raymond.fiona@gmail.com0778011984

This week’s classes:

Mon 6 Nov 6.15-7.30pm   Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Tues 7 Nov 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 7 Nov 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8

Tues 7 Nov 5.30-6.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Wed 8 Nov 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 8 Nov 3-3.45pm         Radiant Kids Yoga@ The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Wed 8 Nov 7.15-8.15pm    Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Thurs 9 Nov 11.30 – 1.15pm Special Needs Kids @ Reach Beyond,Tickell Rd, Col 8

Thurs 9 Nov 3-4pm               Kundalini Yoga, Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7