Now we have started feeling deep acceptance of our polarities and paradoxes let’s get into the nitty, gritty of intimate relationships. Yogi Bhajan says this type of relationship is the highest kind of yoga because it pits you against conflict, paradox, polarity, challenge and asks you to call upon your conscious power over your mind to stay graceful, tolerant, compassionate and loving. Sound familiar?
But let’s look at what we are attracted to and how we become truly attractive?
We all have our theories about attraction – from fashion to passion, finding our soul mate to the need to fill our emotional holes. Are we attracted to people similar to ourselves or different? Is it their laugh or eye colour? Does Prince charming really exist?
The most powerful factor of attraction is none of the above. What we all find truly attractive is security. If a person exhibits a quality of self-love they are at their most attractive. It is typically when a person after a break up is feeling really good about themselves and is not looking for a relationship, that is when they attract someone. This sense of completeness and autonomy in yoga is call Saibhung. We always will feel the need for someone to complete us this is the polarity of separation that the soul feels as it has been separated from the infinite. We need to use our applied intelligence to go beyond this polarity and feel whole, self fulfilled, self contained to serve in our intimate relationships instead of looking for our needs to be fulfilled by someone else.
Attraction is further complicated by the factors built into our instinctual programming, for example, take smell and symmetry. Smell is a powerful attractive factor. We immediately subconsciously recognise the smell of a potential mate that has genes which would be compatible to our having disease free, strong children.
Symmetry is another common attraction. We seek beauty and beauty is universally recognized as symmetry this factor also exists in the natural world.
The saying goes opposites attract. But we also like to share similarities in our partners. However we need enough of a difference to keep our relationship interesting. Differences create challenge, but if you do not try and fix your partner to make them like you, then you can face these polarities, stay conscious and remain flexible in your approach which lends to a healthy relationship.
So attraction is a complex blend of glandular, cerebral, social, genetic, karmic and spiritual. The only way to enjoy this and act with clarity is with applied intelligence where we use our consciousness and intuition to build and fulfil authentic relationships that are pleasing to our soul and its values.
The most important thing is not to be going into an intimate relationship with an itinerary of needs that have to be fulfilled by the other person. When people feel this insecurity it is very unattractive.
The best way to approach any relationship is when you are pre-fulfilled. You have everything you need. Begin with Oneness. This feeling of Saibhang can be developed through your daily practice of Kundalini yoga and meditation.
Next week let’s talk about how to sustain a loving, intimate relationship now you understand attraction. Sat nam Fi x sanasumainsrilanka.wordpress.com read our weekly blogs and brain candy updates firstname.lastname@example.org 0778011984
This week’s classes:
Mon 20 Nov 6.15-7.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col
Tues 21 Nov 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5
Tues 21 Nov 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8
Tues 21 Nov 5.30-6.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5
Wed 22 Nov 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE
Wed 22 Nov 11.30-12.30 YTT Pranayama Class @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7
Wed 22 Nov 7.15-8.15pm Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road
Thurs 23 Nov 11.30 – 1.15pm Special Needs Kids and Teachers@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd.
Thurs 23 Nov 3-4pm Kundalini Yoga, Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7
Sat 25 Nov 6-7.30pm Double Gong Bath with Rachel – Sri Yoga Shala, Galle