Stop Defending and deal with the Negative Mind – Kundalini Yoga

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It takes a lot of courage to face reality. When our negative, protective mind is strong it would rather make up stories, create imaged enemies than actually allow us to listen to something which feels like an attack on the self. We are not neutral about ourselves we dimiss our subconscious, we do not believe the outside world is effected by our private thoughts and feelings. The ego and subconscious mind align. This now reactive personality based on unprocessed childhood trauma, creates thousands of thoughts, feelings and narratives to serve the defensive self. How do we know when we are defensive, or blaming someone else for negativity coming from ourselves. Well here are a few points to be conscious of:

  • When you begin defending because feelings of shame, loss and fear arise. It prevents us from acknowledging our accountability for what happens to us in life. If it is happening to you, it is happening through you.
  • We react in the same way to all situations, which may not make sense in the current moment. The gap between us and reality increases.
  • We may be busy, our lives filled with many people, tasks and adventures but inside we are not happy.

The interconnection between the left and right hemisphere is weakened. The effect is often a change in voice and tone. We are angry, childlike, talkative, full of stories, sneaky and insecure.neg

It takes a lot of courage to face reality. When our negative, protective mind is strong it would rather make up stories, create imaged enemies than actually allow us to listen to something which feels like an attack on the self. We are not neutral about ourselves we dismiss our subconscious, we do not believe the outside world is effected by our private thoughts and feelings. The ego and subconscious mind align. This now reactive personality based on unprocessed childhood trauma, creates thousands of thoughts, feelings and narratives to serve the defensive self. How do we know when we are defensive, or blaming someone else for negativity coming from ourselves. Well here are a few points to be conscious of:

  • When you begin defending because feelings of shame, loss and fear arise. It prevents us from acknowledging our accountability for what happens to us in life. If it is happening to you, it is happening through you.
  • We react in the same way to all situations, which may not make sense in the current moment. The gap between us and reality increases.
  • We may be busy, our lives filled with many people, tasks and adventures but inside we are not happy.

The interconnection between the left and right hemisphere is weakened. The effect is often a change in voice and tone. We are angry, childlike, talkative, full of stories, sneaky and insecure.

Practical Solutions

Whenever I get critised, I have to try and stay very present, breathe deeply, feel the pain or hurt but not let my mind dismiss or defend against what I am hearing. I then later on recheck my reaction to see how defensive or reactive I was in that situation.

Obviously like last week working on a deep meditation practice to strengthen the neutral mind really helps. But we need to be very conscious when we are with people who trigger us. Being conscious does not mean we accept other people’s criticism as fact; we just need to be aware of our reactions to criticism, our body language, feelings, breath, etc. This will allow us to see the full picture without just dismissing what someone says because it hurts our ego. We need to use the neutral mind to access what is fact and fiction and from this point move forward to either learn from past mistakes or dismiss the criticism. Because if we react to it there must be energy there we need to examine. Try always to elevate your vibration, for me it is mantra chanting, to you it may be breathing, moving, singing, etc. Elevate yourself to be less in the animal alert state of the negative mind to view the situation from the heart centred neutral mind. Sat nam x raymond.fiona@gmail.com   0778011984 www.sanasuma.co.uk www.3ho.org

This week’s classes:

Mon 19 Feb 6.15-7.30pm    Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Tues 20 Feb 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 20 Feb 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8

Tues 20 Feb 6-7.15pm       Kundalini Yoga Class with Shauangh@ 145/5Fife Road, Col 5

Wed 21 Feb 5.00- 7.30am   Sadhana @ @ 145/5Fife Road, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 21 Feb 3.30-4.15am    Kids Yoga Class @ The Om Space, Colombo 5

Wed 21 Feb 6.45-8pm         Kundalini Yoga@ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5

Thurs 22 Feb 11 – 1pm       Special Needs Kids and Teachers Class@ Reach Beyond

Thurs 22 Feb 3-4pm            Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Sat   24 Feb 6-7.30pm         Gong Bath @ Sri Yoga Shala, Thalpe, Galle.

Sun 25 Feb 5am onwards   Kundalini Yoga Fest – All day festival

 

 

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The Negative Mind, Perfectionsim & Procrastination – Kundalini Yoga 6.15-7.30pm Mon 12 Feb 2018

perfectThe Negative Mind, Perfectionism and Procrastination

Last week we explored our applied intelligence. An aspect of applied intelligence is being able to see which of our 3 functional minds are dominant at any one time. Let’s look at the strongest of our functional minds, the negative mind and look its sisters, perfectionism and procrastination.

The negative mind is all about protecting us and setting boundaries. Let’s look especially at that protective quality that leads to tendencies of perfectionism. Perfectionism is that little nagging feeling that nothing is good enough as it is. There are always improvements to make, whether the focus is on people, the food you received at a restaurant or yourself. Let us not get confused, perfectionism is not the desire for success, in fact it is the fear of failure and our negative minds protective quality that drives our perfectionist tendencies. Perfection in reality is impossible and an abstraction. There is a difference between striving for something or excellence and demanding perfection.

This need for wanting to be perfect is transmitted to us subtly. By seeing “perfect” bodies or lives, carved and presented to us via different marketing techniques and channels (such as social media), those “images of perfection” are being implemented in our minds subconsciously. Thus, people who cannot achieve those images that their minds are fixated on tend to lose self-esteem and have their creative minds stifled. We are talking about perfectionism here, and it is one of the major reasons for the feelings of dissatisfaction especially when you look in the mirror.  Getting over perfectionism and unloading the unnecessary burden of self-judgement can be fought by channelling those emotions that take over you with forgiveness and letting go. Kundalini Yoga and meditation are two very effective ways that can help you lose the “perfectionist syndrome”.

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Procrastination and perfectionism are closely linked to one another. Procrastination is the negative minds mask of not facing criticism or being wrong, as well as lack of self confidence. You will not start anything new or take a chance because of fear of failure. I remember this feeling when I first started teaching Kundalini Yoga, I did not think my asana practice was good enough, or my language ( I was teaching in Spanish), I had so many reasons not to teach.   But actually teaching, making mistakes and being a bad teacher has taught me so much. I remember my teacher Sunder Singh saying to be a really good teacher; you needed to be a bad teacher first. I thought he was insulting me instead of assisting me, but that is how the negative mind reacts to any threats. We must learn to recognise this and counter it with our applied intelligence, i.e. watching but not becoming attached to those negative thought processes.

No one is perfect and no matter how we think others may have a perfect life no one actually attains this state. This week make an effort not to be so harsh on yourself, know your worth, learn by your mistakes and respect yourself no matter how bad or good you feel. Sat nam x raymond.fiona@gmail.com   0778011984 www.sanasuma.co.uk www.3ho.org

This week’s classes:

Mon 12 Feb 6.15-7.30pm    Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

Tues 13 Feb 9.45-10.45am  Kundalini Yoga @ Om Shambala, 143 Fife Rd, Col 5

Tues 13 Feb 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickell Rd, Col 8

Tues 13 Feb 6-7.15pm        Kundalini Yoga Class with Shauangh@ 145/5 Fife Rd, Col 5

Wed 14 Feb 5.00- 7.30am  Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 14 Feb 3.30-4.15am    Kids Yoga Class @ The Om Space, Colombo 5

Wed 14 Feb 6.45-8pm         Kundalini Yoga@ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5

Thurs 15 Feb 11 – 1pm      Special Needs Kids and Teachers Class@ Reach Beyond

Thurs 15 Feb 3-4pm               Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7

 

What is your Value?

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We need to fill ourselves with value everyday, this can be done by chanting or singing from our heart feeling the joy and fullness there or by breathing the fragrance of love in to our hearts. If you do not do this on a regular basis you will feel a deep sense of emptiness which you will fill up with unconscious habits and patterns which make your external world more valuable than your inneral one. 

Self– esteem is the fragrance that emanates from the Self just as kindness, self-respect, self-love all originate from this place too.

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5 Ways To Gain Self Value

  1. Command the Mind

The mind tells us constantly what we are worth. Whenever you attempt to move forward in your life, it is the mind that sends the deluge of critical, judgmental and self-hating thoughts. You are not your thoughts.  Daily meditation is non-negotiable now in order to develop a relationship with your mind.  Commanding the mind is a full time job.  It is becoming a witness to your thoughts and refusing to react or act until you are clear.

  1. Trust Yourself

We all have an inner compass that guides us through time and space. However, we have been taught and trained not to trust it. When my teacher Shiv Charan told me about my inner compass, I simple could not believe it. I was always someone who did not trust myself and looked to others, teachers etc. to know better than myself. When you give other people power over yourself you are doubting your own value.   Only you can really know what is  best for yourself.   This does not mean you dismiss everyone elses opinions. You can listen neutrally to the opinion and see if it resonates with your heart. Truth is a frequency of energy that will resound with your Self or not. Your Mind is not your inner compass. Test this out when you listen to people. Do you feel YES and it feels right or NO which feels a bit off or wrong –like you suddenly are lopsided?

  1. Know yourself and value yourself

Can you really say you know yourself?  Chances are there are parts of you that you need to embrace. The only reason you don’t accept yourself is that you have written a self-concept of you that is not the truth. Most people want to be someone they’re not. Look at the magazine racks. They sell you how not to be you, to aspire to be someone else. You lower your self-value when you compare yourself to someone else.

Instead of comparing yourself, get to know yourself. Spend time alone and out of the conditioning field of other people so that you can really feel what it is to be YOU.

To start to know YOU, ask yourself questions and answer them in truth:

What uplifts your Spirit?

What opens your Heart?

  1. Embrace your Perfection

Your mind is always telling you are lacking in some way and you need to prove yourself.  The mind will tell you that you are not smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough–basically you are not good enough and you have no value. This can be happening at the unconscious level and perhaps this wound has been handed down through your ancestral lineage. This energy will drive you to make choices that are not correct for you in order to prove yourself.

Before any action, take time to question your motivation. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to do this? Am I trying to prove myself to someone? Prove that I am a good friend, partner, worker, loyal? Am I feeling worthless right now and trying to escape from these painful feelings?” The Truth is that you are Perfect and Whole. Focus on feeling full in your heart and this will allow you to embrace your imperfections as perfections.

  1. Let Go of the Past

People can recount all the horrible things that have happened to them in their past and all the people who are responsible for their low self-esteem. The ego’s version of letting go of the past is seeking some kind of vengeance or payback before moving on. Or diminishing the pain, “It wasn’t that bad, my friend had it worse.”  To truly let go of the past, you have to go into the dark recesses of the subconscious mind and at the cellular level. This means rolling up your sleeves and feeling all the pain that is associated with these memories and let go of these feelings.

Cross left under right arm on your shoulders, bow your head to your heart, take the value from external things to your heart and chant , “Gobinda, Gobinda Hari Hari chant for 11 mins. Translates to sustainer and supporter of all.

This week’s classes:

Mon 18 Jan 6-7.30pm     Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Pl, Col 7

Tues 19 Jan 6-7pm          Meditation @ The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road, Col 5

Wed 20 Jan 4.45- 7am    Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE)

Wed 20 Jan 3-3.45pm     Kids Yoga @ The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road, Col 5

Wed 20 Jan 7.15-8.15pm   Kundalini Yoga@The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road

Sat   23 Jan 10.30-4.30pm Yoga and Art Workshop with Serena and me, The Om Space

Sun 24 5.30-6.30pm          Gong Healing @ Prana Lounge