Reactive Personality ie Hidden Self
Over the last few weeks we have been looking at how we can be truly happy, to feel good about ourselves, be able to cope with difficult feelings and circumstances. But the biggest obstacle to all of this is what Yogi Bhajan named as the Reactive personality or Hidden self.
Firstly we need to understand that we originate from the soul which does not include any polarity, just oneness, which reflects true self. We incarnate into a Universe of polarities, where our persona and shadow self exist. Persona is the part of our personality which we project into the world, how we would like to be seen. The Shadow is the part of the personality which we keep hidden. For example if you are a very kind, generous person there is within you a selfish and mean side. In order not to be at odds with your Shadow you need to acknowledge both sides of the persona but choose to be kind and generous to yourself and others. Understanding that sometimes you need to put yourself first and look after your financial needs. Then there is no conflict between the persona and the shadow.
Within the Shadow lies the Hidden or reactive self. This part of us is created through experiences we had usually in the first 7 years of our life. Just like the little angle baby becomes a monster during the terrible twos, this reactive self does not die with childhood. It stays in the subconscious realm as we get older, holding on to its hidden agenda, undermining our ability to appreciate life, be happy and fulfilled. The reactive self is activated when we do not get what we want. In these circumstances we become angry but it is not just feelings of anger but the reactive mind gets involved, saying, why am I angry, I feel bad about being angry, etc. Adding layer upon layer to this initial feeling from the hidden self.
How to recognise the Reactive or Hidden Self ?
- Feelings of regret about the past, past mistakes, etc.
- When you begin defending yourself because feelings of shame, loss and fear arise. It prevents us from acknowledging our accountability for what happens to us in life. If it is happening to you, it is happening through you.
- We may be busy, our lives filled with many people, tasks and adventures but inside we are not content.
- The interconnection between the left and right hemisphere is weakened. The effect is often a change in voice and tone. We are angry, childlike, talkative, full of stories, sneaky and insecure.
- Feeling sorry for ourselves, life is unfair, living in our stories.
- . Because we are not neutral about ourselves we dismiss the hidden self and its agendas and do not believe the outside world is affected by our private thoughts and feelings. The ego and subconscious mind align with the hidden self. This now reactive personality based on unprocessed childhood trauma, creates thousands of thoughts, feelings and narratives to serve our hidden agenda. We react in the same way to all situations, which may not make sense in the current moment. The gap between us and reality increases. If our habit is to simple react, or to react and deny we reacted we divide and fight ourselves. It is just like trying to see ourselves in a shattered mirror.
These are just some of the signs of the Reactive personality. When they occur the hidden personality is dominating our normal personality
So how do we deal with it?
Shiv Charan our teacher is very clear about this, he says when you observe the Hidden self, you have got to be very very firm.
- There is nothing to heal.
- Do not mentally react to it or start to analysis it or discuss it.
- Hit it with a Mantra. Mantra is like a tread, a diver’s life line, keep chanting, keep the rhythm and you will get through the waves of it until you come out on the other side.
- Have a tool box you can use when the Reactive Self arises, Inhale 4 exhale 1.
- For most people we will never be able to get rid of the hidden self reactive personality, only put it to sleep.
Mon 30 July 6.15-7.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, Col 7
Tues 31 July 9.45-10.45am Kundalini Yoga@ Om Shambala, Fife Rd, Col 5
Tues 31 July 3.30-4.30pm Special Needs Kids Class@ Reach Beyond, Tickel Rd, Col 8
Tues 31 July 6-7.15pm Kundalini Yoga Class Shaunagh @ 145/5Fife Road, Col 5
Wed 1 Aug 5.00- 7.30am Sadhana @ 145/5 Fife Rd, Colombo 5 (FREE CLASS)
Wed 1 Aug 6.45-8pm Kundalini Yoga @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5
Thurs 2 Aug 11-1pm Special Needs Kids and Teachers @ Reach Beyond, Tickel Rd, Col 8
Fri 3 Aug 5.45-7pm Youvolution Gong Bath – Jungle Beach Ahungalla