When I first discovered Kundalini Yoga in Quito, Ecuador around April 2002, I fell in love! Not consciously but unconsciously. Something felt familiar and wonderful about this bizarre practice which was nothing like any other type of yoga I had practiced before. But it also made me start feeling, all feelings not just good ones. Suddenly I became aware of the underlying anxiety I felt, this anxious feeling I still get that I am not good enough, do not work hard enough are inherently lazy… etc. I had left a highly pressured, stressful dream job as a human rights lawyer working under the most talented, fearless female lawyer Louise Christian to suddenly become a housewife in a strange country where I could not even speak the language, it was perfect. I had stepped out a comfort zone into a completely new world just to realise that all my anxiety was not created by my work but by my untrained brain.
During my 2 wonderful years in Ecuador my heart opened, soul soared like a Condor, but sometimes I felt I was making no progress at all, 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. I was still me, I still got angry, sad, worried etc. I thought yoga would make all that go away and I would live in a blissful bubble a bit like the fantasy books I read. But once this expectation for a perfect life and perfect new Fiona faded the real beauty of life with all its up and down started to be experienced.
I have also become conscious over the years that misery can also be comforting. We do not realise that when we are sick or worried and we tell our loved ones, we get sympathy. We are addicted to this sympathy because it makes us feel understood, valued, loved as oppose to being strong and always great, then we are looked up to for guidance, we must be the light and this scares us. We are more scared of our greatness than our weakness. Close your eyes an image you without any of your imaged disabilities, may they be physical back pain or emotional pain. What would that all powerful you look like, how would you deal with problems, if you feel you can always find the solutions?
Isaac Newton’s third Universal law states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Remember this in your needy, anxiety, feeling low or down moment. We can start to know intellectually and feel consciously that if I am sick in this moment there also exists the opposite which is healing. I just have to redirect my energy and thoughts from the concentration on sickness to habits and thoughts about healing. Now is not the time for why has this happened to me? I had an important day and needed to finish my list. Now is a time for surrender and redirection, super consciousness.
Einstein said “Imagination today is reality tomorrow”. So let’s not get caught up in the general malaise of Brexit, Trumps victory, the state of the Environment, or why is the world going to hell? Let’s focus those strong emotions of angry, rage and redirect them into being more determined to do a physical practice every day, start learning something new, start to meditate or increase our meditation practice, kick the inner lazy voice and wake up 10 mins early to feel grateful for the day, grateful for our breath and do something to increase our immune system (3mins breath of fire – obviously not on your moon cycle) as well as being kinder to all around us.
Once you feel the path going backwards, do not continue to let despondency occupy your mental space with its repetitive story either in your head or as you repeat it to get sympathy from you friends. For this will occupy the space needed to find the solution the healing in any situation. Become the change you want to see and by your actions not your words others including family members will start following your lead. Because at this time we do not need someone to tell us what to do, we need to be shown by example what the lightness of being looks like. Then the third law of equal and opposites will take over and tip the balance away from tragedies to levity.
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Mon 21 November 6.15-7.30pm Kundalini Yoga @ Prana Lounge, 60 Horton Place, Col 7
Tues 22 November 6-7pm Meditation @ The Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road, Col 5
Wed 23 November 4.45- 7am Sadhana @ 9 Greenlands Lane, Col 5 (FREE CLASS)
Wed 23 November 7.15-8.15pm Kundalini Yoga @ the Om Space, 185/9 Havelock Road